Like Yesterday today again very good article from Nigerian religious circle (Surely I can share with all): (let me clarify article is not on religion but on positive thinking)
Self-confidence is a very essential
ingredient for success in any field of life. Without such confidence we are
afraid to take risks; we also don’t have the courage to explore higher horizons
while performing our deeds within this world.
Real self-confidence is not based on our
achievements or our successes in this world, but it is based on the realization
of who we are, what our purpose is and what we represent to ourselves, to our
families and to the world around us.
If a person has such self-confidence,
then he can generate confidence and faith in others. Actually, to fail is not
much of a loss; to lose one’s character and integrity is a major loss to our
inner life.
A person with proper disposition and
attitude is willing to accept even major failures in the eyes of the world in
order to preserve the high values that he or she believes in. If we’re willing
to sell our ideals, our ethics, our character, our integrity, and our very soul
for the adoration of this world, then our so-called self-confidence will be
built on a foundation of sand. It has no real substance and it can bring us no
real fulfillment.
Six Common Indicators of Low
Self-esteem
Low self-esteem really means a lack of
real contentment within one’s inner life.
1. People with low self-esteem like to
gossip. Why? Because that’s what gives them pleasure. They do not have any
substance inside. On the other hand, people who are actually self-confident
speak of their ideals in life and not of the faults of
others.
2. A person with low self-esteem is
quick to criticize others, whereas a person with some inner fulfillment is
respectful to others and is naturally longing to show respect to others, to be
caring toward others.
3. A person with low self-esteem is
arrogant. He thinks, “I’ve done this, I’ve conquered these nations, I’ve made
these millions, and I’ve won these tournaments and so on.” Such people are very
eager to try to convince other people of how great they are, how successful they
are, and what they have accomplished within this world. But a person with actual
self-confidence is humble. Why? Because he simply doesn’t need to impress people
with cheap words of conceit. If you are actually very weak within, you have to
brag about whatever great or little things you have done to try to get the
approval, the recognition, and the adoration of others. But if you have inner
contentment, if you have confidence in yourselves, you don’t need
that.
Once a sage in the Himalayas told me
that when you do something good and you tell somebody about what you did, by
that telling you exhaust most of the credits of what you have
done.
4. In the world today we want to take
credit for what we have not done and we want to give blame to others for what we
have done. This is another quality of a person with low self-esteem. He makes
excuses, and blames others for their apparent shortcomings, whereas a person
with self-confidence doesn’t make excuses, doesn’t blame others, and takes
responsibility for what he has done or what he has not done, and always strives
to improve.
5. Persons with low self-esteem are
dependent on the appreciation, praise and approval of others, whereas persons
with self-confidence are willing to speak what is true and do what is right even
if it is very unpopular. Especially for the youth in the world today association
is such a powerful influence. Most people smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol or do
all illicit things, not simply because they really want to do it, but because
they want to look cool and be accepted by the people around
them.
But integrity means we understand what
is right and we do it—even if people criticize us, even if people make jokes or
laugh at us. Eventually, those same people will come to us when they are in
trouble because they understand that here is a person with
integrity.
6. Those with low self-esteem are easily
jealous about other people’s successes. What is jealousy? That means we are so
hollow, so empty within, there is so much lack of satisfaction about our worth,
our value, and who we are, that we actually have to feel a type of hatred and
jealousy towards others who appear to be better. A person with real
self-confidence is the well-wisher of everyone. He is not so concerned with his
reputation, but is concerned with his character.
He is not so concerned with what he can
get and what he can prove to others by his fashion, by his way of speech, by his
way of talk and by the type of furniture he has in his home. He is more
concerned with what he is giving to others. Actual self-confidence doesn’t mean
we become absorbed in our egoistic self. The art of real self-confidence is to
become selfless, because in becoming selfless there is inner
fulfillment.
So it is very important to understand
that real self-confidence is not simply about what we have achieved and what we
have conquered, because that kind of self-confidence doesn’t bring any real
inner accomplishment: whatever we do, we always have to have more, more and
more. Real self- confidence is when we’re actually finding fulfillment and
satisfaction with who we are and what we represent within this world. Some fools
may think that, this type of self-confidence, this type of inner peace, is an
impediment to making great strides of achievements in this world. However, the
opposite is true. The purer our motives, the greater courage and faith we will
have to accomplish things way beyond the horizon of even our imagination. When
we have such inner self-confidence, anything we pursue is actually easy. It may
be difficult mentally, and it may be difficult physically, but when we have the
will, the confidence and the faith, that makes anything
easy.
