15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

During Year end, I got lovely post from my mentor. I also firmly believe that if not all, we can give up at least some of the below mentioned things, and surely it'll work good for us.

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right. 

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control.

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame. 

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk.

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining.

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, many things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism.

 Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others.

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change.

Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels.

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears.

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses.

 Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past.

 I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment.

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations.

 Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need…and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Blind can see what we can't

Below attached information is true inspiring story, happened with my mentor's friend, who is working in Singapore. I'm sure you will like it.

"I am sharing this wonderful experience a friend of mine recently had in Singapore.

I was invited to one Friday evening event by one of MNC Vendor organization who had organized the event to raise funds for the visually handicapped people in a center for blind people.

Since it was a Friday evening, I first thought to skip the event considering it could be a bit boring and rather spend the evening relaxing by some other means.

But being alone and sometimes finding it difficult to kill time, I thought of accepting the invitation and registered online for booking. Moreover it was free :) which was another motivation to go to the event. I was looking at the event as a means to pass some time, meet few people and nothing else.

When I went there, there were approx 40 people from various industries invited for that event. I found some Indians and naturally talked to them about how life is in Singapore etc etc. Initially we were shown a video about the visually handicapped center. What are their activities, how are they helping blind people in Singapore to lead a more fulfilling life, etc . It was a short 15 minute video and quite inspiring; how people from different walks of life spend time in helping these blind people without expecting anything in return. They shared the satisfaction and fulfillment they get by helping them.

After the video, we all were gathered in a hall and were briefed about the next event. The theme of the next event was "Dining in the Dark". And this was the event which turned out to be so inspiring and worth sharing.

What it meant was that all 40+ people present were going to have Dinner in a pitch dark room !!!! The next 2 hours were completely planned, organized, directed and executed by three blind youths. One was a girl ( Leader ) and the other two were boys, assistantig her, thus forming a team of three blind volunteers.

The blind leader first gave us tips for dining ( These were ACTUAL STANDARDS THE BLIND PEOPLE FOLLOW IN ORDER TO MAKE
THERE LIFE EASIER )

 1, When you sit at your table the things will be placed as follows :
   at 3 o clock of your dish : You will find a spoon.
   at 9 o clock : Fork;     12 o clock : spoon.      2 o clock : Empty Glass
   Dish at the center with Paper napkin tucked at 6 o clock.

2. There will be two large Jugs circulated to you. The Jug with plain walls will have water and the Jug with curved wall will have orange juice.

3. When you get your Jug based on your choice you have to pour it in your glass. You have to dip your forefinger in the glass so that when you fill it and the liquid touches your finger, you stop pouring.

She asked whether everyone had understood . All said yes but everyone was confused and trying to remember what she had said and confirming from each other. The next 1 1/2 hours we spent were full of fun and learning. In a completely pitch dark room where we could not see ANYTHING, we were enjoying varieties of delicious food without seeing it.

All 40 of us were taken in groups in the dark hall . Each one was directed by a blind person and was seated into their respective chairs.  ( We were finding it awkward because actually we are supposed to guide blind people to their destination and help them )

We were served a full five course dinner by this team of three blind people- welcome drinks, appetizers, starters , main course and desserts. The amazing thing was that the team of three blind people were serving vegetarian dishes to vegetarian people who were sitting randomly in the room !!!

While registering online we were asked to declare whether we were "Vegetarian" or "Non vegetarian".  Being one, I chose the former.  We were so nicely hosted that we did not have to wait in between serves . As we wud be finishing one dish, we were served with the next without any delays.

After approx 1 and half hours of dining in the dark, the leader asked whether everyone had finished eating. After confirmation from us, she switched on the lights of the dining room. We left the Dining Room with tears in our eyes.

We realized how lucky we are and how we have been gifted with perfect vision to see the beautiful world. We realized how difficult lives of blind people are ( and other handicapped) without being able to see. We realized how uncomfortable we were for just two hours without being able to see anything and how they must be living their entire lives in this condition!  We realized how unfortunate we are, that we do not value such simple things in life we have and crib, sometimes overtly and sometimes quietly, and run after what we claim we don't have, and ignore the blessings we are blessed with!

 Be cheerful. Value whatever you have in life.  There's no harm in striving harder for more, but don't make it the basis of your existence, don't make it a rule that you MUST have more!  You'll never have the time or the inclination even, to enjoy what you already have, if you do!

You need to experience it , something like I had experienced , to believe this philosophy of life."